hello 2014 and the random thoughts that follow

I suppose there was a point where I wondered if I would see this day.  Then suddenly it was here.  Fear and worry are useless unless (wow, thought I made a typo there for a moment) they motivate us to do better.  So no more fear and no more worry, just living life the best I can.

Heard girl sing a song the other day, “If I were smart I wouldn’t have a heart.”  That’s actually really dumb.  Of course having a heart means it hurts, but that’s the small sacrifice we make so that we can also feel all the good.  Duh.

I asked my students the other day, “Why do we all wait for the new year to make resolutions and try to be better?”  Someone pointed out, “Yeah, we could do it on any day, or at any moment actually.”  My heart got happy.  Then someone else said “That’s too much work, though.”  Heart sad.  But at least they were thinking about it.  Heart happy.

Shayne asked me the other day, “What was the worst and the best part of 2013 for you?”  Kneejerk answer:  “Cancer, Cancun.”  Real answer: “There are no extremes.  They are too limiting.  Cancer (and my brain,heart,soul,friends) gave me a more positive outlook, gave me friends like Suzette and Shayne, improved friendships with people like Kramer and Petty, inspired visits with Miguel and my nieces, opened my checkbook for things that make me really happy.  Yes, money can buy *some amount of happiness.  Cancun, my car, baseball tickets, really nice dinners…  everything except the Uggs was totally worth the price.

Speaking of spending, Modus’ mom Alice reminded me:  only spend money on things that are either useful or beautiful  Preferably both.

I told Morgan:  the backyard really needs to be completed soon.  Outside is my happy place.  Sure the bed is super comfy, and the couch is a great place to cuddle with the pets, but my fave inside spot is the one where I can look outside and see the birds playing in the birdbath.   That’s were I want to BE, not look at.  (outside, not necessarily IN the birdbath)

Medical update:  the scan last month showed improvement.  Fewer hotspots that were less hot.  And I actually saw the scan results.  So cool.  Images from all three axis that you can scroll through to see cross sections anywhere.  From the top saw the the shift from bone to brain.  From the side, saw good curvature in my spine.  From the front, saw my heart and lungs, (and the earrings that I never take out).  Saw the cancer too.  I get injected with radioactive dye that attaches to glucose, water and ammonia.  That’s why I can’t eat for 12 hours prior and have to pee right before.  Cancer cells react to the tracer-laced glucose different than normal tissue.  These cells then ‘light up’ as bright ‘hotspots’ on the scan.  So less spots and less brightness was really good to see.

Cheers to 2014… make it as great as you can.  Love to you all.  Thanks for all your words of encouragement